Time and loyalty
by Missthirdward
Summary: Alicia and Peter adopt a baby not long after Peter's gubernatorial win in season 5. Six months later, Alicia realises that she doesn't love Peter anymore, meanwhile Will Gardner still hates her. Set mid season 5. I MISS OUR BABIES WILL AND LEESH :(


A/N: Hello lovely readers :) This story/potential one shot holds similar qualities to my 'Damaged and Repaired' but a bit more of a simple plot line :) I MISS our babies everyday, and wish the willicia universe a very happy new year!

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It was cold. That was the first thought that entered her mind when she stepped outside. It wasn't the kind of cold that typically existed in the ends of autumn and beginnings of winter, it was freezing, unhealthy for her infant and probably more exhausting for Grace, who had a soccer tournament to compete in that afternoon. She mentally thanked her mother once again as she avoided stepping into a puddle and jumped into the large black SUV.

Veronica had been amazing in the last six months, probably making up for all the moments she missed with Zach and Grace when they were babies. "It's quite chilly out there isn't it Mrs Florrick?" Her driver said to her, or was it Peter's driver? She didn't know, she really couldn't be bothered asking him about it either.

"It really is" she told him.

As they began to drive off she looked down at her phone. An image of her children appeared on the screensaver on her phone. She smiled, a million different candles lighting up in her chest all at once. Peter had taken it one afternoon; Zach was home from college for the mid-term break and they had just settled down for desert. Their baby sister sat on Graces lap while Zach tried to feed her her first spoonful of frozen yoghurt, failing unsuccessfully as she laughed up at him, and they watched as it trickled down her small chubby chin. They loved her so much. She really was the centre of their world, and it was liberating, to live for something again, to have another purpose, another planet that added to their orbit of domesticity and contributed to a new, fuller resolve. It really showed in their family. Grace was home more, and had stopped going to church so much, Zach video called everyday, and Peter had changed too. Everything about him had altered, he was dedicated to rebuilding their family and becoming stronger in his professional life and personal achievement.

He had even gone to lengths of purchasing a bigger apartment. Something which she had repeatedly told him that they didn't need, but in all fairness, was probably for the best. Her mom took over her old apartment, and had already started renovating it as soon as Alicia moved the last of her gears out.

She opened a text message from Cary, he sent her a photo of the new Florrick, Tascioni and Agos stationary with a caption, 'I told you the grey and white coupled together better." She rolled her eyes and half laughed. He had been the backbone to her success these last few months. They had started off with almost no gas and little understanding of what exactly they were doing, but with a dozen more wealthy clients added to their business, and a new welcoming partner to their growing family, they were beginning to see light. Elsbeth wasn't exactly the easiest to work with, but she was better than most, and had become a close confidant of Alicia's. Peter seemed to enjoy her company too, he often valued the extroverts, particularly those with open opinions and intellectual minds such as hers.

After her rather cheerful meeting with the men from the NSA this morning, she wanted to go home straight away. Having been forced to discuss Will in such an intimate way with a stranger took a bigger toll on her than she would care to admit. Especially after her awkward relationship with him now that they had somewhat solved their issues. After their encounter in New York last week, she had discovered not long after that she liked it better when they weren't friends, when they were just standing on the edge of a very tall and tense cliff, ready to push either one off and end their long drawn, emotional feud with one another. Five months ago she hated him, the kind of raw, pure hatred that ran through her veins and made her forget every good, sparkling and loving memory that they shared together. Forget wasn't the right word, no, more like suppress.

The suppression was still there, only it was replaced with a splash of colour every now and then, where it was all once grey, now that they were on mutual terms again, she was starting to see tone once more. She didn't like tone, she didn't like colour in their relationship. She wanted it all to stay dark and grey, only then, could she really open herself up to Peter. Only then, could she allow herself to focus on her marriage and her family.

And yet..

It was all so exhausting, the fire and the flames, his need to continually splash petroleum on an already burnt element, and her need to find more reasons to justify his and her actions, it was all so wrong and abusive, and yet, necessary.

 _Five months ago._

 _She marched through the dark corridors of Lockhart and Gardner, righteous and angry like she usually was when she walked into these offices now. There was no one here, but she knew from the only light shining further down the corridor that he was still here. Her hand gripped her car keys so hard that it left bruises, and the other hand held onto the paper that Eli had given her less than an hour ago._

 _"I never thought you'd go so low" she spat at him as she marched into his office._

 _He looked up at her from his desk and instantly his eyes flamed up and his chest arose. Though she knew that it existed, it always frightened her to see him so mad, even worse so when she realised that that anger and hatred was directed to her and only her._

 _He shook his head, his heart rate increasing and his knuckles tightening, "Get out Alicia" Will told her, simply._

 _She wasn't having it._

 _"At first I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it, but you were the only one that knew, you were the only one that could have done so. This is beyond malicious, this was out of pure hatred for me and my family, were you even thinking when you told that reporter?"_

 _'First of all, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about, and second of all, you really have the cheek to march in here and start throwing your weight around. I could call security right now.."_

 _"Oh go ahead! You're such a coward! You'd rather have security escort me out rather than face the truth.."_

 _"THE TRUTH?! Where have you been the last month Alicia? I don't even recognise you anymore! You betrayed us, you betrayed all of us all because you wanted power, and you didn't even have the guts…"_

 _"The guts? You coward! This is my family we're talking about! You have every right to hate me, maybe even Peter, but this.. this is my kids. Where are your morals? Where are you? You say you don't recognise me, well I don't even know this person" she slammed the paper on his desk and watched as he took a step backward._

 _"What is.."_

 _"You told a reporter about the adoption" she spat at him, more forcefully, like she had to find every strength in her just to say it. She began to read the quote out to him,_

 _"Despite their long lasting friendship, Mr Gardner seemed to have no remorse for the Florricks. When asked about the rumours of an adoption earlier this month, he confirmed straight away, saying: "There is more to the Florricks than power hungry mobiles. It might pay just to check their garbage." Alicia looked up at him, her face red as a tomato and her green eyes enflamed with anger and emotion, none like before. He had never seen a woman so provoked and hysterically angry at him in his lifetime._

 _His face dropped and he swallowed hard, she couldn't tell if he was disappointed in himself or her for even coming here._

 _"That reporter, she made it sound more malicious then.. what was intended."_

 _Silence evaporated the room, and she seemed to calm down, releasing a breath, which sounded like a laugh and a strangled sob combined. "You're not even gonna deny it."_

 _He ignored her question, maybe trying to find a solution of some sort "What does this mean now? For your daughter"_

 _For a moment, he looked worried, but with her heart still beating with rage, and his eyebrows still scrunched in discomfort and hatred, he masked it like a professional._

 _"Her face, her name and her details will be plastered all over America tomorrow morning" she answered him, discarding the paper somewhere on his office floor._

 _"You were the first and only person I told Will, I haven't even told my own brother yet.."_

 _"That reporter was fishing Alicia" he interrupted. "She was asking questions about.. us. About you leaving the firm, about Georgetown.."_

 _"So you just told her about the baby? That's your reasoning?"_

 _"She didn't mention anything about the baby! I didn't know she knew about the adoption.. I was just.." His face contorted back to the Will she had grown accustomed to fighting in the last month, and he became frigid again. "I was mad and didn't think about what I said when I walked away. You can't blame me for what's happened. Your adoption was bound to come out. I had no part in this."_

 _She looked away, disgusted, and shook her head. She didn't understand why she was here, taking her time and energy out on him when it should have been directed to something more important. She needed to get in touch with the adoption agency immediately, after all, this is exactly what they feared, that the child they had willingly gifted to her and Peter would become a target for campaign trails and the monstrous press. Right now, she was so scared of losing her child and her dream that she could barely look at him anymore, afraid that she would burst, even more, afraid of what he would do if she did._

 _She looked back toward him, unlike before where there was anger or sadness or hope, there was nothing. No emotion whatsoever. Instead, there was only an infant layer of water masking those perfect green irises of hers. He couldn't tell which one was worse._

 _"You're right. You had no part in this, but I hope it was all worth it in the end" With that, she turned around and walked away, with only the sound of her heels to mask the lonely silence on his floor. The last thing she heard before she called for the elevator was the sound of glass smashing. She didn't care._

She had taken two weeks off work after that. The press had done exactly what she knew they would do and cracked. They inspected every inch of her family, including her children's lives. Zach and Grace had gotten more and more popular after Peter became governor, Grace was on some 'hottest daughters' list. Zach had developed a hobby with the gym and had gotten bigger, which - surprisingly so - developed in him being approached from some top modelling agency, which -not so surprisingly - he turned down. Grace had boys falling at her feet, and now that their sister had been revealed, the level of attention rose.

Alicia and Will however, weren't the same after that night. They hardly looked at one another in depositions, cross examinations, or even in the courtroom. They avoided verbal arguments, he often sent his interns to her firm, and she formed articulate excuses as to why she couldn't go to his. Diane and Cary never pressed either about it, though they knew it existed. It was painful, to say the least, and yet, she didn't even have the time to think about him. She liked that.

"Henry, I'm supposed to go to Peters convention thing tonight but I really can't be bothered. Do you think I could skip it?" She asked her driver.

"Hmm. Have you asked Mr Gold?"

"You're kidding right?"

He smiled. "Of course not. I have to pick Mr Florrick up from the courthouse soon anyway, perhaps you could tell him there"

"Great, I'll come with you and then you can drop us off to the apartment afterward."

"Alright Mrs Florrick."

As they pulled up to the front of the courthouse, she noticed the crowd of people standing outside the building. Some of them prosecutors, judges, witnesses, they clearly belonged inside. She stepped outside of the car peered around. Her driver came next to her, his face slightly disorientated: "Mrs Florrick, I don't think we should be here."

"I know you're a part of my husbands security intel, but I'm sure we're okay here Henry."

"Alicia" She turned around to the calling of her name and as her mind slowly processed the voice, she came face to face with its occupant. Diane's eyes were a mix of relief and fear as she looked across to her. Diane had always been a few inches taller than Alicia, but they seemed to be the same height now as Diane walked to her. Owen was right. Alicia had grown, literally.

Things were still tense between them, but right now, Alicia had a feeling that something had changed.

"Diane, hi. Is it a fire drill?"

"No. Someone has a gun, it's crazy. I only just got out in time!"

"What?! Are you serious?" Diane nodded, impatient as she looked around. "I lost Kalinda, she… I think she.."

"Mrs Florrick" This time, an unfamiliar voiced called out to her and Diane followed her gaze. It was Peter's main security agent, and behind him was her husband.

"Alicia.. what are you doing here?" Peter said as he finally reached them and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled back and instantly, she noticed the stain of baby food on his collar from this morning. She looked up at his face and noticed something off, as though he knew something that he didn't want her to know.

"We were only stopping by. What's going on Peter? Did you see anything? Is it true?"

"I.. I didn't see anything, but I heard it. There were three shots and two more after that one. We only just got out.."

"You didn't see Kalinda or Will did you?" Diane asked.

"Will?" Alicia asked, much to Peter's silent disparagement.

"Yes" Diane said, purposely avoiding eye-contact. "He has a case."

Alicia didn't remember much after that. She waited for Peter and Diane to find distraction when she allowed her feet to find the car. She leaned against the vehicle and took long breaths. _He's okay. He's okay. He's okay._

She looked back to see that a crowd of lawyers and mutual friends that belonged to Diane and Peter starting to gather around them. She took that moment to escape and find route. She walked around the courthouse toward the back entry, where she slipped past the two FBI agents and snuck into a secret passageway. She heard one of the policeman mention the shooter's name and she felt… sick. She clutched onto the wall for support. _Please no. Please god no._

Jeffrey Grant was just a little boy. He had just come out of school, hadn't he? He was just a child.

She rounded the corner of the corridor and was surprised to see so many people still inside. Chaos surrounded the first floor of the courthouse. Never in her wildest nightmares could she imagine this. A security guard was being wheeled out on a gurney, his skin purple and his face covered with a white sheet. Countless and countless people were running around, yelling, crying, panicking, and despite all the confusion, the pandemonium that consisted of the law, amongst all the madness. She still spotted him.

He was standing with his head to the ground and his back toward her. He looked as if he was in another world, and for a moment, she was jealous, because she wanted to be in that world with him too. Just the two of them. Nobody else.

"Will" she half murmured and half yelled, it sounded more like a strangled sob.

He turned to the sound of her voice. When his eyes met hers, she knew, she simply knew that her life from here on would never be the same.

Especially when her entire life flashed before her eyes. She remembered an image in his bedroom one afternoon, when she reached out to touch his chin, the smile on his face when it woke him up from his slumber. She remembered the sensation of his laugh brushing her cheek, the feel of his lips gracing her forehead. She remembered those many mornings they shared coffee together in her small but comfortable office, when they plagued one another with false debates and endless inside jokes. She loved him. Most of all, she remembered that she loved him.

Anybody and everybody whom surrounded them didn't seem to notice the shift in atmosphere when Will and Alicia began to walk toward one another. The two of them were alone, in both worlds. Completely and entirely isolated in their realisation for one another.

The thing is, when she first heard about the shooting, she didn't think about the fact that her husband was inside with the gunman, or that she and her family could potentially be affected by it all. The first face that entered her mind was Will, but then she remembered that the NSA guy was supposed to be interviewing him right now, and for the first time in her life, she was grateful for Peter's path of corruption, and the idea that that could have saved Will from interference seemed too ironic to be true.

When Alicia wrapped her arms around Will's shoulders she didn't think about Peter or their three children. Thoughts and smells of Will hydrated her mind. His arms wrapped around her, his nose took solace in her neck and her scent. He stopped shaking, he held firmly onto the notion that she existed, here, in his arms. Perhaps this was a dream, or a nightmare, he didn't care for he knew that she was his angel in the end. She always was.

"Alicia" he murmured, "You shouldn't be here." She felt his hands squeeze onto her waist tighter and felt his embrace more deeply.

"You shouldn't be here" she answered. "For a moment I thought something happened to you. I was terrified.." After no response, she brushed her nose against his cheek. "Will?"

Alicia pulled her head back and found his eyes once more. They were lost, shaken, and entirely lost. Her eyes scanned his face and her gaze dropped down to his chest. He had someone else's blood all over his white shirt and his hands were dry with blood. "The lawyer.." He murmured "Finn… he barely made it out alive."

Gently, she brushed his face with her hands and allowed a tear to fall down her cheek. He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I thought I wouldn't see you again" He told her.

That was supposed to be her line of thought, wasn't it? Yes, it was. She told him, softly, permanently. "I'm here now."

A/N: Thanks for making it this far loves:) If I am to continue, I'm gonna rewind the story a bit backward so that we can all get a bigger context. Let me know your thoughts xx.


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